I had this discussion while doing a photoshoot with a nude model about dating and relationship difficulties as a result of what we do. In her case, she’s had her difficulties finding a significant other where problems didn’t surface as a result of her nude modeling. Acceptance of craft can be a tall order with the other person not involved in the industry and not having a first hand understanding of the inner workings. Really, in her case, a professional traveling nude model, it boils down to this. You can’t be in a relationship where you expect the other person to change their life for you. Whoever she is with would have to understand and support her career choice, it isn’t forever anyhow. And not try ultimatums. This is what she does, deal with it or walk. No guy worth their salt would want his lady giving up on her dreams for him. Perhaps some of those guys were controlling or jealous douche bags, and rightly so she sends them on their way. Perhaps others are good men, that tried their best to learn about her modeling and support it, but just couldn’t feel comfortable with it. In which case, choices have to be made. Some just can’t make that separation in their minds that to them their partner being nude in front of others is a form of intimacy. Even though with our arrangement it isn’t that way, if everyone is above board.
It also works the same way for me as a fine art nude photographer working with women on artistic nude and boudoir photoshoots. I have had quite a few women I dated not be able to accept that aspect of my work. In their case, I didn’t sense that it was about jealousy or they assumed that I was sexually involved with those I was photographing. But more rather that I would not consider our intimacy as special or they feel they are sharing me with others. Which in actuality isn’t true, but they’re not involved in my craft, so I can’t expect them to think the same way. I can’t write them all off and call them irredeemable, I chose this craft and they have to decide how comfortable they are with it. That doesn’t mean I am giving it up for them. But I’m not saying it’s wrong for others to, for the right person as long as the decision feels organic and not forced or influenced. As for me, I will keep hunting but as of now, here I sit writing to you.