Interfering with free will

The longer this blog is around, and the more readership it gets, the more I hope it will become known for my artist perspective, straightforward man’s perspective, and eclectic outlook. Hoping to also shed positive insight and entertainment for viewers. Today, I find it appropriate to talk about free will as pertaining to relationships. And also how trying to manipulate it can open up lots of potential problems in the future. I’ve been in situations too where all I can do is rely on freewill, and forcing the result would be fruitless. This is where relying on free will to reign supreme will prove the best result for the long term.

I’m not passing myself off as some relationship guru, but I am a decently marketable single man, with a lot of experience dating and building all kinds of relationships with people. I have taken time apart from relationships to be true to myself and what I really want. I love being in a healthy relationship…..but if it brings drama and negativity to my life, I quickly exit stage left. I don’t need to be that desperate to settle or a substandard relationship for the sake of not being alone. Some key mistakes both men and women alike make when either trying to enter relationships, or make while in relationships are:

1. Trying to use guilt, manipulation, or pity to create a relationship or save a dying one. Granted, no marriage or relationship will be perfect. It takes work and sacrifice, and growing together. Those are good things. But when there is jealousy, insecurity and control, then it becomes a bad thing. That only causes co dependency and settling for something mediocre and substandard, and really lots of wasted time. Having a weight around your neck really kills the quality of life, and quite frankly, I don’t get it.

2. Insecurity and jealousy. If you don’t trust someone, why be in a relationship with them? Anyone who feels the need to manipulate and control or check up on their partner, they clearly should have spent more time being in tune with their partner instead of being a jealous mess. In my opinion, this can’t be fixed….and who should want to, yuck. Trust and communication are the foundations in a relationship, despite the level of physical chemistry. I’m not suggesting burying your head in the sand, but perhaps someone in this situation has to grow up, and also pay more attention to their significant other…..if they did, they may have picked up on problems in their relationship that perhaps could have been fixed with some positive energy and attentiveness.

3. It boils down to interfering with free will. Blowing up someone’s phone to keep you on their mind, or push yourself on them may work for short term results that will likely blow up in your face. Same with putting someone else down or tooting your own horn to make yourself look better and make that person want you more. That should be a red flag. If you have to tell someone why they should be with you, it’s empty. And if you have to steer someone your way with desperate attempts, what would it really mean anyhow, assuming it worked? People aren’t puppets. I’m not suggesting every approach in life has to be passive but it’s better to prove by your actions, that is remembered far longer than words. And it’s often harder to let free will make the planets align, as opposed to trying to be Bruce Almighty, lol. But too many people take the easy path and short cuts, which is why there are so many fucked up relationships and dysfunctional families. In the long run, once positive attempts are made, free will is the best and most organic director of life.

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Recent reunion of long time model

I used to work with this young lady very frequently about 6 years ago, and a couple years following that. We would work together to sell licensing and art of nude photography, and one signature trademark of hers is the ability to really rock the facial expressions. Life happened, she got married and started a family, and in fact was anxious to once again grace the lens, and is working hard on getting herself physically ready……we did a shoot last week and this would serve as a keepsake gift for her significant other, as well as a confidence booster for her. She hasn’t lost a step, and still nails the facial expressions….and has some pretty mad hair and makeup skills as well! Good thing she came when the pool water was still warm LOL! It has been 5 years since we have worked together on any kind of nude or boudoir photography, and it looks like we picked up where we left off. A contrasting, but workable transition from the family photos we had been doing occasionally for her in recent years….enjoy 🙂

Nashville boudoir photography

Nashville boudoir photographer

Nashville boudoir photography

Muse arrangement

I apologize for the delay in new blogs lately….been enjoying Summer and staying inspired, and next week will enjoy a beach trip with friends, for additional refuge and artistic inspiration…..not to mention a refreshing renewal of the soul. Today I will discuss the role of a muse. In definition a creative partner, a model / photographic subject that I, as a photographer have access to when feeling inspired to carry out a specific vision or test a different technical approach. And in turn, she grows as a model and gets portfolio material….and also calls on me when she wants to do something new or different. I am fortunate enough to have enjoyed many excellent ones over the years of me doing artistic nude photography and conceptual photography.

Here is the deal. Whether the muse is a model, or just someone who likes posing and being photographed, and whether the photographer is a professional or hobbyist, respect and boundaries have to be in place. Similar to how I would work with a client, the accountability has to be there. I make them feel comfortable, respect their boundaries, build their confidence, and I value their time. The same way, if I get last minute cancellation or no showed, I don’t make another appointment for them without pre payment. Even for a muse situation, no money changes hands, but that relationship and arrangement has a lot of a value, apart from financial. Therefore, high standards should be in place, and there has to be mutual respect, not only for one another and their creative needs, but time as well.

Like a friendship. It’s like a bank account. Being unreliable, or dishonest, wasting my time, all major withdrawals, and soon I will close the account. Of course life happens, but things like being very late for a shoot, partying the night before and looking like crap or cancelling because of that, or not being able to keep commitments because they can’t manage their personal life…all deal breakers when it comes to a muse relationship. If they don’t respect my time and value it, they aren’t the person I want to invest in. My point is, financial arrangement shouldn’t change work ethic or standards. And if it’s not a mutual benefit, then it’s not worth doing. One of my long time muses…she is 250 miles away but when we do get together, great art is created. I value that very much.

Nashville boudoir and nude photography